The Joy of Later Motherhood by Bettina Gordon-Wayne

Author:Bettina Gordon-Wayne [Bettina Gordon-Wayne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Published: 2018-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

According to studies, 91 percent of our thoughts are actually in the subconscious. You think that this experience cleared up a subconscious mental block around pregnancy that you were not consciously aware you had?

Yes, that’s right. I did not want to have children because I did not want to do fertility treatments. The underlying thought was that I could not get pregnant anyway. I did not believe my body could do it. Then I listened to the radio show that was all about the miraculous female body, and I went away from this experience in awe about the things my body could do. And I really think that, if women who are trying to become pregnant could unblock their subconscious and open up to the universe, it would allow the energy for pregnancy to come in. But that’s a whole other story.

Shortly after the show, I flew to France, where I have a house, for the summer. Tom needed to work, so he stayed stateside, and I went to work wholeheartedly on my art in my studio there. I was creating a beautiful collection on large sheets of paper, the same as Picasso had used, and I was showing and selling my art in France. I was loving this summer, and I was fully engaged and present in my life. I lived in the moment and loved what I was doing. I was really alive, if you will. We often think of fertility as being a physical attribute, but as women, we are fertile in so many ways, and being creative opened up my second chakra, the chakra that is located in the lower belly and represents the reproduction zone. It was wide open, not because I was having sex, but because I was creating and loving what I did. I created some fertile soil that summer, let me tell you (laughs), and it was one of my best collections ever!

Well, the best was actually yet to come. Tom was scheduled to visit for one week, and coincidentally, I had a friend come to visit with her four children at the exact same time. We had dinner parties and kids and visitors and an all-in-all crazy week. Tom and I only had sex once during his visit. Once. And I did not think anything of it until I returned to America a month and a half or so later. I had gained a little weight and so had Tom. We both went on a super healthy diet, and he lost weight, but I did not. I thought, huh? That was the first time I realized that I could be pregnant.

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